Partners of Sex Addicts

Learning that your spouse is involved in sexual behavior outside of your marriage is often devastating. Whether they are involved in extramarital affairs, prostitution, or viewing pornography - the discovery can be overwhelming. The good news is, recovery is possible. Roy Bobbitt Counseling offers counseling in Dublin, OH that can help you and and your marriage heal. I can meet with you, or collaborate with your individual therapist. Recovery often means individual therapy for both you and your spouse, as well as marital counseling to help the marriage be restored. It is important to find therapists who are experienced at working together to provide treatment to both of you. In counseling, you can talk about your struggles, set goals, and begin to heal.

Research with the betrayed partners of sex addicts shows that sexual addiction damages not only the marital relationship, but the betrayed spouse's emotions. Unsurprisingly, almost every person surveyed said their addicted partner’s behavior impacted them in numerous negative ways – loss of self-esteem, stress, anxiety, depression, inability to trust, reduced ability to enjoy sex and romance, etc.

For instance, one study of women married to sexually addicted men found that, upon learning of their husband’s serial infidelity, many of these women experienced acute stress and anxiety symptoms characteristic of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Typically, this manifested in one or more of the following ways:

• Emotional instability, including frequent mood shifts, over-the-top emotional reactions, tearfulness, rage, etc., sometimes followed by feelings of intense love and a desire to “make it work.”
• Hypervigilant behaviors (detective work), such as checking phone and credit card bills, wallets, computers, phone apps, texts, and the like for evidence of continued infidelity.
• Anxiety, depression, loss of self-esteem, and other mood-related symptoms.
• Being easily triggered into mistrust of the cheating partner; common triggers included the cheater coming home five minutes late, turning off the computer too quickly, looking “too long” at an attractive person, etc.
• Going on the attack by “lawyering up,” spending money to punish the addict, telling the kids age-inappropriate information about what the addict did, etc.
• Sleeplessness, inability to wake up, and/or nightmares.
• Difficulty focusing on day-to-day events, such as picking the kids up from school, work projects, maintaining a home, etc.
• Overcompensating by trying to lose weight, dressing provocatively, etc.
• Obsessing about the betrayal and struggling to stay “in the moment.”
• Avoiding thinking about or discussing the betrayal.
• Emotionally escapist use of alcohol, drugs, food, spending, gambling, etc.
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This does not necessarily mean that betrayed partners of sex/porn addicts should be diagnosed and treated for PTSD; it simply means that, for a time, they tend to manifest various symptoms of PTSD. This is understandable, too. Maybe even expected. As survivors of chronic betrayal trauma, it is perfectly natural for a cheated-on partner to respond with rage, anger, fear, and other strong emotions.

The above information is taken directly from the website of Robert Weiss, MSW, a leading expert on sex and porn addiction. Please visit his website for more excellent information.

You can find his website at this link:  https://www.robertweissmsw.com

I know that many people seeking counseling are going through some of the toughest times of their lives. I want to walk through those times with you. It won’t be easy, but working together, we can get you through it.

In order to find the right therapist, you have to find someone with the right experience and expertise. I have over 30 years of counseling experience helping a wide range of clients across a variety of issues.

You also need to find someone who is the right fit for you, your personality, and your needs. My approach to counseling is realistic, practical, and straight-forward.

If you need counseling in Dublin, OH, call Roy Bobbitt Counseling at 614-395-3749 to discuss services or set up an appointment.